Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Whirlwind
I was once told by a good friend that my life was a "whirlwind of confusing locations", which was ironic because only now does it feel like that. He meant what he said but the locations I had been bouncing back and forth from were not as three dimensional as I feel the ones I am bouncing back and forth from now. These current locations can pick me up, shake me and set me back down, giving me only limited time to try and sort myself out before I get shaken up again.
In a little less than two months I have been trying to sort myself out only I am not putting things back in the same place as I was before. I cant help but feel a little scatter-brained. I have pieces of myself sprinkled everywhere and in order to put myself back together I am going to have to re-organize. I have to admit that I will not be completely whole again until the reality of the next year has soaked into my skin and filled me where I didn't even know I was empty.
The sounds and sights of this place are becoming something of a home to me, and I am comforted by this quiet way of life. There are times where I lay awake thinking of what was and what will be as I listen to the low hum of my fan the busy chirps of crickets outside my window. I cannot help but feel a sudden lurch of sorrow on these nights as I yearn for the familiarity of what home truly is to me. Other nights I leave this distant memory behind as I laugh with new friends and take in the beauty of a new culture. I feel torn between these two worlds and the result is a sleepless night and a splitting headache when I finally get up. The emotional drain I have already experienced in such a short time has become mentally exhausting and although I know it will become less frequent, when it does come it is not a fleeting feeling. It hangs heavy on my tired shoulders and drags me into a place I am hesitant to even admit going. Yet these are all human emotions, and although they are not always happy ones, I cant help but feel the pure ecstasy and the true strength of being alive.
Aside from the emotional and mental `whirlwind of confusing locations`, the physical ones have been tiring, yet rewarding as well. These past few days has left me feeling drained but happy, and I finally have the solid thought of knowing I will never regret my decision to come here. I got to travel up north to a newer and relatively clean city (Fukuwoka) where the music revived my dusty dancing muscles and the people continued to amaze me in so many ways. We watched break dancing at a club, wandered around the city as the bright neon lights lit the path of an otherwise darkened night, enjoyed traditional Japanese Ramen on a street side while making conversation with other weary travelers and finally ventured to the familiarity of home; Costco. My dreams came true this glorious day as I was able to buy some much needed American delicacies such as bagels and cheese. The whole trip took about 6 hours. It is amazing the things I will do for cheese. It was worth it though, and knowing myself, if I wouldn't have gone, I would have dreamt about cheese until the guilt would become unbearable.
After the exhausting trip, I came home, rested and met up with some friends to enjoy some relaxing conversation over some delicious ice cream creations before finally going to bed. The rest of the weekend turned out being equally exhausting, but just as interesting. We went to a festival in town where the Japanese culture was spilling over the top, but I enjoyed the overflow nonetheless. We watched a parade of festively decorated people and horses that went on for miles, and after a short time I had already taken so many pictures that they were all beginning to blend together. That was when we knew it was time to leave. We met up with some friends in the city and we were able to find a diamond in the (well sort of) ruff--Mexican food in a Japanese city! It was more delicious than ever and I even got to sport a bright red sombrero that was of course the star of my next photo shoot. It is amazing what your taste buds crave and you don't even know it. I have been thinking of Mexican food since I got here, but I didn't realize how badly I truly needed it until the other night. It did not disappoint and I actually ended up going there again only a day later. The next night a few of our friends came in from surrounding towns and showed them a good time in Matsubase. Karaoke has become one of our favorite nighttime activities and I know it will be among the things I will miss when I leave.
I had Tuesday and Wednesday off from school for holidays and sports festival make-up days so I was able to get a few things done, but mostly I just hung out with friends. We explored the town and had some good time to talk and reflect on just being in Japan. It is hard to believe it is already almost October. These next few months are packed tight with activities and I have set some goals for myself having to do with exercise, learning Japanese, reading, writing and traveling that should keep me plenty busy. I am looking forward to a weekend of Japanese culture, it seems as though I have been sucked into gajiin life--strictly hanging out with other foreigners. I am happy to say that I will spend all day Saturday at the sports festival and I will later join the teachers at a traditional Enkai of good food and attempted conversation of some sort.
I think I will continue to try and live in a confusing whirlwind of who knows where for a while and although it is exhausting in so many different ways I know that there is no better time than now. Although it has only been a short time, I am amazed of how much I have already learned. I am excited for the continued growth I will endure as well as see around me, and I am beginning to realize that someday, not too long from now, this will all only be a distant memory.
In a little less than two months I have been trying to sort myself out only I am not putting things back in the same place as I was before. I cant help but feel a little scatter-brained. I have pieces of myself sprinkled everywhere and in order to put myself back together I am going to have to re-organize. I have to admit that I will not be completely whole again until the reality of the next year has soaked into my skin and filled me where I didn't even know I was empty.
The sounds and sights of this place are becoming something of a home to me, and I am comforted by this quiet way of life. There are times where I lay awake thinking of what was and what will be as I listen to the low hum of my fan the busy chirps of crickets outside my window. I cannot help but feel a sudden lurch of sorrow on these nights as I yearn for the familiarity of what home truly is to me. Other nights I leave this distant memory behind as I laugh with new friends and take in the beauty of a new culture. I feel torn between these two worlds and the result is a sleepless night and a splitting headache when I finally get up. The emotional drain I have already experienced in such a short time has become mentally exhausting and although I know it will become less frequent, when it does come it is not a fleeting feeling. It hangs heavy on my tired shoulders and drags me into a place I am hesitant to even admit going. Yet these are all human emotions, and although they are not always happy ones, I cant help but feel the pure ecstasy and the true strength of being alive.
Aside from the emotional and mental `whirlwind of confusing locations`, the physical ones have been tiring, yet rewarding as well. These past few days has left me feeling drained but happy, and I finally have the solid thought of knowing I will never regret my decision to come here. I got to travel up north to a newer and relatively clean city (Fukuwoka) where the music revived my dusty dancing muscles and the people continued to amaze me in so many ways. We watched break dancing at a club, wandered around the city as the bright neon lights lit the path of an otherwise darkened night, enjoyed traditional Japanese Ramen on a street side while making conversation with other weary travelers and finally ventured to the familiarity of home; Costco. My dreams came true this glorious day as I was able to buy some much needed American delicacies such as bagels and cheese. The whole trip took about 6 hours. It is amazing the things I will do for cheese. It was worth it though, and knowing myself, if I wouldn't have gone, I would have dreamt about cheese until the guilt would become unbearable.
After the exhausting trip, I came home, rested and met up with some friends to enjoy some relaxing conversation over some delicious ice cream creations before finally going to bed. The rest of the weekend turned out being equally exhausting, but just as interesting. We went to a festival in town where the Japanese culture was spilling over the top, but I enjoyed the overflow nonetheless. We watched a parade of festively decorated people and horses that went on for miles, and after a short time I had already taken so many pictures that they were all beginning to blend together. That was when we knew it was time to leave. We met up with some friends in the city and we were able to find a diamond in the (well sort of) ruff--Mexican food in a Japanese city! It was more delicious than ever and I even got to sport a bright red sombrero that was of course the star of my next photo shoot. It is amazing what your taste buds crave and you don't even know it. I have been thinking of Mexican food since I got here, but I didn't realize how badly I truly needed it until the other night. It did not disappoint and I actually ended up going there again only a day later. The next night a few of our friends came in from surrounding towns and showed them a good time in Matsubase. Karaoke has become one of our favorite nighttime activities and I know it will be among the things I will miss when I leave.
I had Tuesday and Wednesday off from school for holidays and sports festival make-up days so I was able to get a few things done, but mostly I just hung out with friends. We explored the town and had some good time to talk and reflect on just being in Japan. It is hard to believe it is already almost October. These next few months are packed tight with activities and I have set some goals for myself having to do with exercise, learning Japanese, reading, writing and traveling that should keep me plenty busy. I am looking forward to a weekend of Japanese culture, it seems as though I have been sucked into gajiin life--strictly hanging out with other foreigners. I am happy to say that I will spend all day Saturday at the sports festival and I will later join the teachers at a traditional Enkai of good food and attempted conversation of some sort.
I think I will continue to try and live in a confusing whirlwind of who knows where for a while and although it is exhausting in so many different ways I know that there is no better time than now. Although it has only been a short time, I am amazed of how much I have already learned. I am excited for the continued growth I will endure as well as see around me, and I am beginning to realize that someday, not too long from now, this will all only be a distant memory.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Bold Around the Edges
There comes a time in every teacher's life when they have to admit when they have a bad lesson. That time is now for me. I know I have had a few already in previous times, but most recently I had a very boring one yesterday. I need to remember just because I think its fun, does not necessarily mean the kids will think its fun. I try to relate things as much as I can to them, and that's a start, but after that it is hard to know where to go. Their levels are all pretty low, but each class varies. I had them doing a worksheet mostly focusing on travel vocab. It sounds boring because it is. I cant come up with a game for them to play EVERY day in English, that would be exhausting. But I need to think of ways to spice it up. I have a few ideas, but most of the things I think of I always think of why it wouldn't work and then I am stuck back at square one. Sometimes I come up with a last minute idea in class and I give it a go, but winging it isn't as simple as it sounds...So if there are any ideas out there I would love to hear them!
One of my classes was pretty responsive and liked the idea of me saying the word in English and them repeating it in Japanese, but the other class was so quiet I could not hear anyone saying anything. They were all also extremely tired because they had their sports festival practice in the morning instead of the afternoon in case of bad weather. I went and watched them practice and it was the strangest thing. The inspirational music came on (yes, probably the exact song you are thinking of--I'm pretty sure they play it in Blades of Glory at the end) and they were all laying in the dirt in their gym uniforms and one of the teachers was yelling in a microphone while he stood on a platform. They began moving their arms and since they were sitting in lines, well diagonal lines, it somewhat resembled a wave. Then they did the same thing with their legs. It reminded me of when we used to play 'dead ant' in gym class. I was trying to hard not to laugh. It looked hilarious, especially since they were all so serious about the whole thing. I can't wait to see the final performance, it will be the best show all year.
Their fire drills are pretty comical too. They all walk outside and then when they get outside they START running. Wouldn't you want to run until you get outside? Away from the fire? Apparently not. Then they all line up and the guy stands on a platform and talks in a microphone. Well yells, really. And they all do this weird thing with their arms to make sure they are the same distance away from each other and he tells them when they can put them down. And then in Japanese he says "Ready/Stand. Bow" (that is how every class is started as well) and they all bow and then say "Onegaishmasu" which literally means, "please" like please begin. Then he tells them to squat while they talk forever. The firemen were there that day and they actually did a demonstration. They lit this gasoline filled pan thing on fire and had like 4 different kids try putting it out with extinguishers. I swear so many things I have seen here would not fly at home. Everyone would be sueing left and right. I felt like a nationalist at the school fire drill. I often do, bowing all the time still feels really foreign. So that was a very interesting experience...
So sports festival practice is what they spend half of their school day doing, so by the time they get to English class, it was like universal nap time. I had to keep waking kids up, and I hate waking people up. Especially when they look so peaceful. Plus that isn't supposed to be my job, that is part of the reason the other teacher is in there. But he didn't really help with that or much of anything for that matter, so I had to do it. I have a feeling I will be doing a lot more than that in his class as the year goes on. Besides trying to teach uninterested kids English, I have been keeping busy by hanging out with friends, trying to workout, cleaning and of course reading and surfing the web. I need to practice more Japanese, I have been doing that whenever I feel like it, but I rarely feel like it, so I need to motivate myself a little bit more.
Last weekend was great since we had Monday off and I was able to do a lot of the things I wanted to. Friday night I went to dinner and karaoke with the ALTs in my area and although the karaoke place was, as my Australian and South African friends say, "dodgy", it was still a good time. Saturday I went to lunch with my friend Jess and then I shopped for food and cleaned a bit before meeting friends in the city for more karaoke. The place in the city was a lot better and we sang our little hearts out all night. Sunday I went to my friend Josh's town with Talia and we swam in a natural pond and went to a Shinto Shrine. When I say swim I mean jump in the water from a small bridge and then get back out because the water was freezing cold. We took some cool pictures I will post later. The Shinto shrine was tucked in between some forest and a peaceful, little lake. We cleansed ourselves before entering (splashing water on your face and then swishing it in your mouth) and then completing the praying ritual.The ritual is ringing the bell for the gods to hear, clapping to signal you are about to pray, praying, giving the offering (money) and then clapping to tell them you are singing off. After that we pretty much left because the mosquitoes were having a hay day and they would not leave us alone. Needless to say I have about 12 bites from being there 10 minutes. Later, we had lunch at the mall, saw Batman (the second time for me), shopped a bit and then went back and just hung out at Josh's. Monday some of the girls came over and Cassandra made us delicious french toast! Afterwards we hung out and then walked around town. Although it was raining, it was a nice day for a walk and we found some cute little shops really close to my house. We also braved going into the Pachinko place which was extremely noisy and overstimulating. The game is like gambling and sometimes results in addicts. They go and try to put little silver balls into the thing and the term 'Pachinko' comes from the 'pahh-chink' sound the ball makes going into the slot. It looked like a miniature version of pinball to me. It is somewhat looked down on by the respectable Japanese, reserved for what might be labeled as 'white trash' back at home. I have no desire to go back in there again, I felt like my ear drums were about to be blown out.
Although this has been a short week and I have not had to teach as many classes since they are practicing for their sports festival, I am really tired. I don't know why, I think it is just a mixture of not getting as much sleep as I wanted this weekend and just being on the go. Last night I went to dinner with two of the Japanese ladies I went to the Uto festival with as well as the other ALTs in my town. We went back the the Jamaican type place, Akaranga, and it was delicious. I had Thai noodles and garlic bread. I felt like I could even indulge in a little shared desert since I swam earlier (which was disgusting by the way, they had algae all over the bottom of the pool. Yeesh). The day before that I went on a pretty long run and I found an indoor pool. I went in and looked around for a minute, it was really small and I wasn't sure who or even how I need to go about swimming in there. There was no one at the front and I didn't have the guts to try and ask what the deal was, so I just left. My goal is to figure out how to ask when I can swim there in Japanese. That cant be too hard, right??
Tonight I need to get to the post office so I can send out some letters before this supposed typhoon hits. It is supposed to hit either tomorrow night or Friday and no one knows what it is going to be like. It sounds like it will be mostly raining, and if it is really bad they will shut down the train. I don't think it will be that bad though and I am really hoping it doesn't go into Friday night because we are planning on going into Fukuwoka (a city about an hour north of here) to go dancing. Saturday is our big trip to CostCo and I cannot wait. It is in the same city, so we are just going to stay there Friday and then shop on Saturday. I have many o' glorious things I am going to buy while I am there.
On a side note, I found cheese! It tastes fine, I'm not really picky so that was a great find.
In other news:
1. It turns out the giant spider I battled with has a clan living in the bushes. They like to hunt near my door at night and I have seen three of the beast's brethren in the past few days. I warned them that if they dare come inside they will meet their fate. I will not have any bush dwelling giants coming into my house uninvited!
2. I am going to Thailand with my family for Christmas! I am so excited!
3. I made my first bill payment and withdrawal at the bank. I had to pay to another account so all you do is take your money out and then put in their account number and put the money back into the ATM and there it goes! My supervisor helped me of course since it was all in kanjii, but it was pretty cool how easy it was.
4. This month is flying by. I can't believe October is in a few short weeks!
5. I should be getting a package from home soon. Yessssss!
6. Next week I only have three days of school because one day is a holiday (autumn equinox--didn't you always want that day off??) and the other day is a day off to make up for the Saturday we have to be at the sports festival.
I think on Wednesday I am going into the city to get my re-entry permit. I have to have that if I leave the country, otherwise I am not allowed past customs. Maybe I will see if some of the peeps living in the city want to meet up for dinner.
And that's all in the Jessica news today! I am beginning to get used to life, although there are still days that I cannot believe I am living here, other days where all I want to do is go home, yet even more days where I am caught completely off guard of how content I have become. I am constantly surprised by the beauty I am surrounded by--especially at the times when I least expect it. I have a feeling that I will continue to be surprised by this interesting country and I will continue to be amazed that I am living in such a different world.
Living here truly frames life a little more bold around the edges.
One of my classes was pretty responsive and liked the idea of me saying the word in English and them repeating it in Japanese, but the other class was so quiet I could not hear anyone saying anything. They were all also extremely tired because they had their sports festival practice in the morning instead of the afternoon in case of bad weather. I went and watched them practice and it was the strangest thing. The inspirational music came on (yes, probably the exact song you are thinking of--I'm pretty sure they play it in Blades of Glory at the end) and they were all laying in the dirt in their gym uniforms and one of the teachers was yelling in a microphone while he stood on a platform. They began moving their arms and since they were sitting in lines, well diagonal lines, it somewhat resembled a wave. Then they did the same thing with their legs. It reminded me of when we used to play 'dead ant' in gym class. I was trying to hard not to laugh. It looked hilarious, especially since they were all so serious about the whole thing. I can't wait to see the final performance, it will be the best show all year.
Their fire drills are pretty comical too. They all walk outside and then when they get outside they START running. Wouldn't you want to run until you get outside? Away from the fire? Apparently not. Then they all line up and the guy stands on a platform and talks in a microphone. Well yells, really. And they all do this weird thing with their arms to make sure they are the same distance away from each other and he tells them when they can put them down. And then in Japanese he says "Ready/Stand. Bow" (that is how every class is started as well) and they all bow and then say "Onegaishmasu" which literally means, "please" like please begin. Then he tells them to squat while they talk forever. The firemen were there that day and they actually did a demonstration. They lit this gasoline filled pan thing on fire and had like 4 different kids try putting it out with extinguishers. I swear so many things I have seen here would not fly at home. Everyone would be sueing left and right. I felt like a nationalist at the school fire drill. I often do, bowing all the time still feels really foreign. So that was a very interesting experience...
So sports festival practice is what they spend half of their school day doing, so by the time they get to English class, it was like universal nap time. I had to keep waking kids up, and I hate waking people up. Especially when they look so peaceful. Plus that isn't supposed to be my job, that is part of the reason the other teacher is in there. But he didn't really help with that or much of anything for that matter, so I had to do it. I have a feeling I will be doing a lot more than that in his class as the year goes on. Besides trying to teach uninterested kids English, I have been keeping busy by hanging out with friends, trying to workout, cleaning and of course reading and surfing the web. I need to practice more Japanese, I have been doing that whenever I feel like it, but I rarely feel like it, so I need to motivate myself a little bit more.
Last weekend was great since we had Monday off and I was able to do a lot of the things I wanted to. Friday night I went to dinner and karaoke with the ALTs in my area and although the karaoke place was, as my Australian and South African friends say, "dodgy", it was still a good time. Saturday I went to lunch with my friend Jess and then I shopped for food and cleaned a bit before meeting friends in the city for more karaoke. The place in the city was a lot better and we sang our little hearts out all night. Sunday I went to my friend Josh's town with Talia and we swam in a natural pond and went to a Shinto Shrine. When I say swim I mean jump in the water from a small bridge and then get back out because the water was freezing cold. We took some cool pictures I will post later. The Shinto shrine was tucked in between some forest and a peaceful, little lake. We cleansed ourselves before entering (splashing water on your face and then swishing it in your mouth) and then completing the praying ritual.The ritual is ringing the bell for the gods to hear, clapping to signal you are about to pray, praying, giving the offering (money) and then clapping to tell them you are singing off. After that we pretty much left because the mosquitoes were having a hay day and they would not leave us alone. Needless to say I have about 12 bites from being there 10 minutes. Later, we had lunch at the mall, saw Batman (the second time for me), shopped a bit and then went back and just hung out at Josh's. Monday some of the girls came over and Cassandra made us delicious french toast! Afterwards we hung out and then walked around town. Although it was raining, it was a nice day for a walk and we found some cute little shops really close to my house. We also braved going into the Pachinko place which was extremely noisy and overstimulating. The game is like gambling and sometimes results in addicts. They go and try to put little silver balls into the thing and the term 'Pachinko' comes from the 'pahh-chink' sound the ball makes going into the slot. It looked like a miniature version of pinball to me. It is somewhat looked down on by the respectable Japanese, reserved for what might be labeled as 'white trash' back at home. I have no desire to go back in there again, I felt like my ear drums were about to be blown out.
Although this has been a short week and I have not had to teach as many classes since they are practicing for their sports festival, I am really tired. I don't know why, I think it is just a mixture of not getting as much sleep as I wanted this weekend and just being on the go. Last night I went to dinner with two of the Japanese ladies I went to the Uto festival with as well as the other ALTs in my town. We went back the the Jamaican type place, Akaranga, and it was delicious. I had Thai noodles and garlic bread. I felt like I could even indulge in a little shared desert since I swam earlier (which was disgusting by the way, they had algae all over the bottom of the pool. Yeesh). The day before that I went on a pretty long run and I found an indoor pool. I went in and looked around for a minute, it was really small and I wasn't sure who or even how I need to go about swimming in there. There was no one at the front and I didn't have the guts to try and ask what the deal was, so I just left. My goal is to figure out how to ask when I can swim there in Japanese. That cant be too hard, right??
Tonight I need to get to the post office so I can send out some letters before this supposed typhoon hits. It is supposed to hit either tomorrow night or Friday and no one knows what it is going to be like. It sounds like it will be mostly raining, and if it is really bad they will shut down the train. I don't think it will be that bad though and I am really hoping it doesn't go into Friday night because we are planning on going into Fukuwoka (a city about an hour north of here) to go dancing. Saturday is our big trip to CostCo and I cannot wait. It is in the same city, so we are just going to stay there Friday and then shop on Saturday. I have many o' glorious things I am going to buy while I am there.
On a side note, I found cheese! It tastes fine, I'm not really picky so that was a great find.
In other news:
1. It turns out the giant spider I battled with has a clan living in the bushes. They like to hunt near my door at night and I have seen three of the beast's brethren in the past few days. I warned them that if they dare come inside they will meet their fate. I will not have any bush dwelling giants coming into my house uninvited!
2. I am going to Thailand with my family for Christmas! I am so excited!
3. I made my first bill payment and withdrawal at the bank. I had to pay to another account so all you do is take your money out and then put in their account number and put the money back into the ATM and there it goes! My supervisor helped me of course since it was all in kanjii, but it was pretty cool how easy it was.
4. This month is flying by. I can't believe October is in a few short weeks!
5. I should be getting a package from home soon. Yessssss!
6. Next week I only have three days of school because one day is a holiday (autumn equinox--didn't you always want that day off??) and the other day is a day off to make up for the Saturday we have to be at the sports festival.
I think on Wednesday I am going into the city to get my re-entry permit. I have to have that if I leave the country, otherwise I am not allowed past customs. Maybe I will see if some of the peeps living in the city want to meet up for dinner.
And that's all in the Jessica news today! I am beginning to get used to life, although there are still days that I cannot believe I am living here, other days where all I want to do is go home, yet even more days where I am caught completely off guard of how content I have become. I am constantly surprised by the beauty I am surrounded by--especially at the times when I least expect it. I have a feeling that I will continue to be surprised by this interesting country and I will continue to be amazed that I am living in such a different world.
Living here truly frames life a little more bold around the edges.
Monday, September 8, 2008
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